Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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