i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
