Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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