You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
