after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
