THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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