I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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