I'm laying in your front yard are you home
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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