I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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