I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
