omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
it was like eating out sand paper
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
