You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
