Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
