It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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