Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Small penises have feelings too.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize