Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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