You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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