I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
