just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
