I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
