At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize