I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
you made out with another girl for some wings
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
