Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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