please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
