The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
