you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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