I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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