I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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