ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
