i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
