Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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