Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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