well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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