You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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