Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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