would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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