Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
