i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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