Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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