You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
