Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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