Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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