It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
look no pants
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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