now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
