Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
