honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
