We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
