found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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