it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
