Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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