How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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