If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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