Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
