oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it's like iHOP with fire
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
