I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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