**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
