I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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