you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
