Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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