I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
