it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
