Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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