I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just google imaged poop.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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