I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
